And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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