your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
