Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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