I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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