Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
