He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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