1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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