Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
We're too hungover to prance.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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