Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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