STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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