the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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