Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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