dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize