why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
