Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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