You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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