brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
