i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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