Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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