Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
