how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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