ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
