My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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