home. puking in laundry basket.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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