Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
i think we sleep fucked last night...
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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