i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
PANTIES FOUND
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
