it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
