In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Randomize
