I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize