Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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