White coat. Heels.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
