wat bout pragnant strippers??
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
