My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
