I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
