You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
