this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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