He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize
