I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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