I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
