Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
