all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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