i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Randomize
