but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
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