This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
