it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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