ya dads aren't the best wingmen
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
whose parrot is this?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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