We're facebook friends in real life
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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