you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
