My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize