so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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