FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
