Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
