You're my little dorito
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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