They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
