I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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