I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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