bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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