haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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