I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
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