Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
