he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
