Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
