lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
